omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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