Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize