ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
