I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
