i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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