i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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