When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.