He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy