he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?