You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail