Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
As shirtless as possible
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
