Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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