marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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