I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
