I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
