yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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