No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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