He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sobbing to NWA
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
