Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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