Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
