do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
