I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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