So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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