You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
