Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
