so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
