I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
