There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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