Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize