When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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