i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
