When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I AM VODKA MAN
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
