.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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