Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
