and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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