I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
