OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This is my gift to your gina
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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