dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
