Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
