my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My vagina is officially offended.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
