Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
