Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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