Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
