so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
