His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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