i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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