UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize