just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
