i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
