Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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