i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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