i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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