I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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