I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize