Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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