miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.