I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
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For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
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We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.