I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit