And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
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He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
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I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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