he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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