so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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