How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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