Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize