Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize