He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
