Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
