Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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