i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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