dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
