I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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