Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
