i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
