A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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